One-half of Deux Lectrices, writing about the things I read.
She also carried Organites, the primordial ooze from which all life was said to have sprung. [Location 3140]
IDC how many times you say this
After cleaning the wound, Emily was able to stick the nozzle of her special Organite syringe directly into the bloody hole and inject the unconscious lawman. [Location 3140]
The same shit that you claims gives you all special powers because of your contact with it?
Praise Christ Mary Sue's back out of the narrative!!!!
Did Dalton know they were onto him? Did he suspect that Finley was one of them, rather than someone Griffin tried to press for information? [Location 3154]
I doubt it, that would require him to be a good criminal and he's just not.
but Dalton wouldn’t hesitate to kill her. [Location 3154]
Oh please Santa, I've been so good this year.
“There’s no knowing if Dalton’s gang will return to finish him.” [Location 3178]
They don't know you have Wolverine's ability those things and they saw him get shot in the heart, so I doubt it.
“Oh, Lord! Sam, I’m so sorry. In the flurry to help Mr. Kirby, I forgot that you were shot. How could I have been so stupid? [Location 3178]
Narration called for it.
I’ve barely eaten or slept since Finley infiltrated Dalton’s gang.” [Location 3196]
That's more because he thinks she might be fucking Dalton. Also, nobody is concerned about Jasper.
And now Dalton knows we know her by sight.” [Location 3196]
He didn't figure it out all those other times we've been seen with her tho!
“Hopefully Dalton doesn’t know where we’re staying. Yet.” [Location 3205]
Ugh... I can't.
“What do we do now?” Emily asked, [Location 3205]
OR you could do what RPFFTesla suggested and focus your bullshit Aether powers to find the machine and disable it before Dalton uses it again.
They could hardly go charging after Dalton when he had a machine that he could easily use to kill them. [Location 3205]
I just keep pleading for someone to use sense...
“What was the Duke of Greythorne doing at Kirby’s?” He asked with fake pleasantness.
Finley shrugged. “Kirby told him he had me. Mr. FancyPants asked me about Jasper—and what you had planned. Didn’t believe me when I told him I didn’t know.”
He stared at her with those unnerving eyes. “Which is exactly why I never tell anyone my plans. Good girl. [Location 3213]
/bangs head Just a small appeal for some semblance of intelligence, please.
Over that, she laced a black corset. [Location 3222]
Just any type of brain activity
“Do you think he bought it?” [Location 3239]
Probably because he's been so infatuated with Mary Sue's vagina since she showed up in front of him
PLEASE, JESUS, STOP BLOWING SMOKE UP MARY SUE'S ASS. I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS, "BUT YOU'RE SO SPECIAL" "OH LOOK AT MY HOLE" "NO, LOOK AT MY HOLE" "BUT YOUR HOLE'S SO PRETTY" SHUT UP, I WANT A FUCKING PLOT.
So Dalton really was as terrible as everyone thought. [Location 3255]
Yet nobody's ever seen.
Dalton, Little Hank and the other men, whose names she couldn’t remember, were already in the library. [Location 3264]
They've never been named in the narrative and only Little Hank is the one who does anything, so...
The smaller girl spotted Finley and glared at her. It was very difficult to sympathize with her when she made Finley want to slap her stupid. [Location 3264]
And it's very difficult to sympathize with Mary Sue when the book makes it clear that everyone only hates her because she's so fucking beautiful.
“And now that he’s outlived his usefulness, it’s time for our old friend to pay for screwing with me in the first place!” [Location 3272]
Wow, finally something actually villainous. Too bad nothing's actually gonna come of it.
Was it wrong to hope that maybe Dalton would do them all a favor and shoot Mei, too? [Location 3272]
God I fucking hate fucking Mary Sue so fucking much.
“She isn’t yours,” Dalton bragged. [Location 3280]
THE WRITING IS SO EXTRA TERRIBLE HERE XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD LORDT
Then she stopped thinking and simply struck—like a snake—and seized the wrist of the hand holding the pistol.
She snapped it like a twig. [Location 3288]
God, ofc, Mary Sue can't actually be in trouble.
I'm not writing about this nonsensical ass scene. You know what, here's what I'm rewriting to happen. Mei kicks Finley's ass and Dalton and his men shoot Jasper in the legs. They put both unconscious people in cells and celebrate their victory.
I'm tired of the Mary Sue-ness.
the Duke of Greythorne. [Location 3312]
“You’ve glass in your back, love.” [Location 3320]
Ugh, srsly? This bitch just came all this way without realizing that she had glass in her back.