Dangerous Beans

One-half of Deux Lectrices, writing about the things I read.

Reading progress update: I've read 90%.

The Girl in the Clockwork Collar - Kady Cross

[82%]

They had all been hurt recently, and some of those hurts had been life threatening. [Location 3332]

 

It'd be nice to see this.

 

“What can I do?” he asked. “I need to do something for her.”

Emily poured Listerine on Finley’s back to clean the wounds and wash away the blood. “Come sit beside her. Hold her hand.” [Location 3332]

 

I understand I'm supposed to be feeling sorry and sad for her at this part and stressed for Griffin, but seeing as that line above this one is a joke, and that she came back home with Jasper and literally peachy fucking keen until Griffin pointed out that she had glass in her back, it's HARD to feel any sort of anything for anyone in this scene.

 

It didn’t even occur to him that seeing her naked skin, let alone being so close to it, was highly improper. [Location 3332]

 

The book literally only remembers society when it adds to the romance.

 

He had thought about seeing her undressed— what bloke wouldn’t? [Location 3332]

 

Shut up.

 

What he couldn’t replace was Finley.

“Stop being so melodramatic,” Emily scolded [Location 3340]

 

Yet again a character I'm not supposed to be sympathizing with in a scene is speaking my thoughts.

 

“I still feel responsible.” [Location 3340] 

 

ASTYOIAGGG;HGUR

 

She literally ran off, formed a plan to join Dalton's gang of four men, fought underground without telling you, went to live with him when she could've said no, but it would be too much for Mary Sue to take the blame for her stupid actions.

 

“You care about her, don’t you?” Emily asked, nodding at Finley.

“I care about all of you.”

“But you don’t want to be kissing Sam or me." [Location 3348]

 

That's basically the only way Griffin knows how to care about anyone tho.

 

“I just don’t know if I can trust her to do the right thing.” He looked away. “I don’t like it.” [Location 3357]

 

This is his true love he's talking about.  Every time he thinks of her, he talks about not being able to trust her or needing to change himself for her.

 

What you have to decide is if the risk is worth it. Is she?”

[...]

“Yes,” he whispered. “She is.” [Location 3365]

 

Sigh

 

[83%]

“No. I mean like whatever it was that made you leave your girl behind.”

Jasper stilled, but he still didn’t raise his head. Sam was smarter than he suspected. [Location 3373]

 

He usually is, but then Cross just sorta makes him dumb at weird times

 

“You want a torch or a candle, maybe? You’ve got your head so far up your own arse, it must be dark in there.” [Location 3373]

 

Again I write, I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE TEAM OF THE PEOPLE SPEAKING IN THESE SCENES.

 

“I thought she loved me,” Jasper heard himself confess. “I guess she doesn’t. I’m not sure that she ever did.” [Location 3382]

 

All we've been told about this relationship is that they have mad history; all we've seen is that Jasper likes Mei because she's pretty.

 

“No. She killed a man in cold blood and let me assume the blame [Location 3382]

 

No, she killed a man and you took the blame and fled the country.

 

Sam nodded. “Yeah. Tell me about Dalton. How many men does he have with him. Any I need to worry about, other than the big one?” [Location 3391]

 

Just two more after that.

 

and the only person I know who might be able to best Mei in a fight is Finley. [Location 3391]

 

Who might be able to?  XDDDDDDDDDDD  The author basically wrote it as if the years of Mei's training were not enough for one person who only recently got super strength.  I'm SURE there will actually be no problem there.

 

[84%]

“She had a lot of glass in her back.” He felt responsible for Finley’s injuries. He was the one that took them through the window, and he’d only suffered a couple of cuts—nothing like what had happened to her. [Location 3408]

 

I have to reiterate:  She was absolutely fine until Griffin was like, "I can't pull the glass out!" then suddenly she was in the gravest danger in the world.

 

“We could just walk right into his house and take the bloody thing,” Sam suggested. “Griff could shut it down.” [Location 3417]

 

Considering the fact that Mary Sue and Jasper took on five people and won without a problem, yes.  But since the author is still attempting to pretend like this could be a danger to any of them, I'm betting on a long drawn out plan that involves making use of Mary Sue's Mary Sueishness.

 

She had no clothes.

This unhappy realization came to Finley shortly after she woke up on the desk in Griffin’s room. [Location 3426]

 

I'm sure this won't be played for maximum romantic tension...

 

Though, she had a morbid curiosity about whether or not her spine would have healed. [Location 3434]

 

Yeah...

 

First, she stepped into the trousers. They were way too long and a little snug in the hips, but they’d do. The shirt was also long and just fit around her chest. [Location 3442]

 

I'm dying.  Do you understand?  The author has literally just tried to subtly say, "SHE HAD A PERFECT HOURGLASS FIGURE!!!!!!!"

 

She remembered hearing Griffin and Emily talking. Had she dreamed it, or was it real? Griffin had said he didn’t know if he could trust her, and then Emily had asked if she was worth the risk. What had he said in reply? She couldn’t remember. [Location 3442]

 

Mary Sue powers activate!  Form of romantic tension!

 

[85%]

she suddenly understood why Emily liked to wear masculine garb. [Location 3449]

 

More times abuse and how often has Mary Sue walked around in pants and a shirt?

 

Wanted to curl up with a book in front of one of the many windows in Griffin’s library. [Location 3449]

 

This book is the first time it's ever been brought up that she likes to read.  I know it's a common self insert Mary Sue trait tho, so I'm not surprised to see it.

 

All heads turned when she entered the room. The most comical expression had to belong to Griffin, whose jaw dropped when he saw what she was wearing.

[...]

There was something in his gaze that told her he liked how she looked in his clothes. [Location 3457]

 

Mary Sue powers, activate!

 

If Dalton brings the device in with him, Emily will shut it down if she can get to it. If not, I will, using the Aether. [Location 3457]

 

Yeah.  Given that earlier you said that "If Dalton has modified it to work on humans, as well, I could kill a lot more people than just us and Dalton’s gang. Who knows what sort of range the thing has. [Location 3417]" EVEN THO THIS WASN'T EVEN BROUGHT UP AT ANY TIME AND TESLA SAID YOU NEEDED TO FIND IT ON THE AETHER PLANE AND STOP IT, I'm betting the plan will hinge on Mary Sue getting close to and hulk smashing it.

 

She’d kick Mei’s tiny little arse for doing this to him. [Location 3466]

 

She already has.  God I'm so tired of the Sueness.

 

Griffin turned to Finley. “Get yourself whatever else you need, as well. We probably won’t be able to retrieve the clothes you had to leave behind.” [Location 3474]

 

This is the only reason Gary Stu is a DUUUUUUKE tbh.  Just so he can throw money around for them.

 

but she hated taking advantage of his generosity. [Location 3474]

 

IF YOU WERE, YOU WOULD NOT HAVE ACTED LIKE SUCH A SPOILED ASSHOLE TO HIM ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS.

 

As if reading her thoughts, Griffin rolled his eyes. “Finley, you could shop every day for the next ten years and not even come close to breaking me. [Location 3474]

 

Again I say.  And another review said he was the second richest man in Britain?  I goddamn guarantee you he would not be allowed to be with Mary Sue because ~bugger society~.

 

[86%]

Tesla met Griffin and Emily at the door with a smile peeking out from beneath his moustache. [Location 3483]

 

No he didn't, he's a germaphobe, he's not readily holding company with either of you.

 

Inviting death was never the intelligent choice, no matter how bloody smart you were. [Location 3491]

 

Says the characters running around acting like they're prepared to die for each other.

 

“Oh, no, it’s quite safe. And we will have Miss O’Brien here to assist should any complications arise.” [Location 3500]

 

The germaphobe will allow a stranger to touch all his shit.

 

Griffin raked a hand [Location 3508]

 

You were doing so well book.

 

“However, he could not use the machine on more than one target at a time. [Location 3508]

 

The book always has the characters jump to these stupid and dramatic conclusions and then disprove them, all while the characters never admit they were wrong.

 

If he had been standing by a wall, Griffin would have banged his head against it. [Location 3508]

 

Rather than admit he was wrong, he's just gonna act like RPFFTesla confirmed his suspicions.

 

“Miss O’Brien, you are most certainly the most intelligent female I have ever met.”

Griffin bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. [Location 3508]

 

GPOY.  I'm sorry, this is just like in Born of Illusion when RPFFHoudini thought Anna's magic tricks were the end all be all of the world of magic tricks.

 

Poor Emily, Griffin thought. She had been so excited to meet Tesla, but the man hadn’t turned out to be exactly what she had hoped for. [Location 3517]

 

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreally?  Cross, your RPFFTesla has been nothing but bending over backwards to make sure that your Mary Sues and Gary Stus know how important they are.

 

Emily flicked the switches and dialed a series of numbers on each of the dials. [Location 3517]

 

Is she psychic now too?  I swear to God they walked in the room and RPFFTesla fell all over himself to welcome them, gave Emily no instructions about the machine, yet somehow she knows what to do?

 

[87%]

“What does that do?” Griffin asked.

“It monitors his heart rate,” she replied. [Location 3525]

 

Correction:  she doesn't know.  RPFFTesla hasn't explained anything to her.

 

“Not at all. Although, if this works, I may be able to modify the design so that I can also observe you in the Aether.” [Location 3525]

 

I'll steal his plans and make it so he can readily sue us!!

 

Some referred to the sight as having a “third eye” and it certainly made sense. [Location 3534]

 

This book changes what Gary Stu's powers are so often I can't keep up.

 

Even in this realm, he wore the suit, made slightly less ridiculous by the sheer fact that it worked. [Location 3543]

 

A world famous inventor actually knowing what he's doing?  SHOCKING!

 

He wondered what sort of gown Finley would buy. [...] The way she looked in his clothes last evening ... [Location 3551]

 

For reference, he's supposed to be focusing on finding an object in this bullshit Aether thing.  Instead he's fapping to thinking about Mary Sue naked.

 

He turned his head, and that’s when he saw it. [Location 3551]

 

Yeah, instead of working out where it was, he thinks of Mary Sue and finds it.

 

He pointed his fingers at the reddish wisp and willed it to come to him.

The energy came easily [Location 3559]

 

This is the first time he's done it, but he wouldn't be Gary Stu if he didn't get it on the first try.

 

It hadn’t been difficult at all, he thought with a smile. [Location 3559]

 

Again I say.

 

[88%]

“Go back,” he said to it. “Go back where you belong, or I swear on my father’s grave, I will end you.” [Location 3575]

 

I have no idea what I'm doing, but I will do it!

 

For a moment, it looked as though it almost had a face, but then it was gone. [Location 3584]

 

/BANGS HEAD AGAINST DESK

 

You should rest,” Griffin told him. “And perhaps avoid Aether exploration from here on. That’s the second time I’ve encountered that thing, and both times have been here, with you.”

Tesla nodded. “I’ve seen what you see, and that’s enough.” [Location 3592]

 

GARY STU POWERS ACTIVATE!

 

[89%]

“Well, I hope Mr. Tesla never encounters it again.”

She held up a small mechanical component. “I stole this from his suit.”

“Smart decision,” he said, [Location 3608]

 

He's an inventor, so, no it's not like he can just make another one.

 

She shouldn’t have to ask Emily for this information, but Griffin hadn’t volunteered it when she’d asked back at the hotel. [Location 3616]

 

Translation: She didn't really ask Griffin, just expected him to come in her room and tell her everything.

 

“Please, send the bill to the Duke of Greythorne care of the Waldorf-Astoria,” Finley instructed the shopgirl.

“Don’t you dare,” Miss Astor-Prynn interjected [...] “This girl is a scam artist.” [Location 3633]

 

Which she would be right to believe.

 

“You brazen slattern, calling him by his Christian name! Of all the arrogance. I don’t know how you managed to escape arrest, but you won’t be so fortunate next time.” [Location 3641]

 

Funny how the only people concerned with society are the ~evil ones...

 

“If I punched her in the mouth, do you think she’d shut up?” [Location 3641]

 

What would shut me up?  You coming up with ANYTHING beyond "punching" your problems.

 

“I’m sorry,” the shopgirl said sincerely, “but I’m afraid given Miss Astor-Prynn’s accusations, I’m going to need proof that you are in the duke’s traveling party.” [Location 3641]

 

AGAIN, I HAVE TO FUCKING SAY, THE ONLY TIME IT'S CONVENIENT FOR THE AUTHOR TO USE THE TIME PERIOD IS WHEN IT'S ANGSTY FOR GARY STU+MARY SUE

 

[90%]

To think that she had thought this was the kind of girl Griffin would prefer to her. No one could prefer this nasty bag of bones. [Location 3650]

 

Welcome to society, where Gary Stu's aunt WOULD have her for his arranged marriage.

 

She took a step closer to the girl who, at the moment, was making her life difficult. “What do you think he’s going to do? Propose? Take you back to England? He’s eighteen. No gentleman ever gets married so young.”

“Lengthy engagements aren’t unheard of,” Miss AstorPrynn argued. A cruel smile twisted her lips. “What do you think will happen when he tires of you and your—” she raked Finley with a blatantly insulting gaze “—talents?” [Location 3650]

 

/SMASHES FACE AGAINST KEYBOARD  LYDIA IS CORRECT, FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK.  And people ABSOLUTELY did get married at that age in those times.

 

“I cannot imagine that ever happening” came a voice from behind them.

Finley’s fingers uncurled, releasing the fist she’d been about to drive into the witch’s face. She noted how the blood drained from that once smug face before turning her own toward her savior. [Location 3650]

 

You walked into a shop and saw your girlfriend threatening a high society woman, one with a lot of clout and who could kick you out of that thing you need to get into in a few nights.

 

Griffin’s teeth flashed as he grinned. Obviously he found her overly sweet and proper tone amusing. “I would be delighted, Miss Jayne.” He shot a particularly cold glance at Miss Astor-Prynn before addressing the girl at the counter. [Location 3658]

 

Shut up, literally every time Lydia has appeared in the text the characters have shat on her every second.

 

Griffin’s smile faded as he regarded Finley’s nemesis once more. “Miss Astor-Prynn, I wish you every happiness in your life. I believe you do not have many of them. But I can honestly and without regret inform you that, even if I were inclined to marry at my age, you would be the absolute last girl I would think of spending the rest of my days with. Good day.” [Location 3658]

 

Never minding how incorrect the language is, welcome to being disincluded from society and I fully hope she kicks you and your fucking friends out of her father's party.

 

If she were a better person, Finley would have kept her gaze fixed on the exit ahead of them. Instead, she gave in to temptation and craned her neck to peer back over her shoulder at Miss Astor-Prynn, whose face was as hard as marble and just as white, save for two angry red splotches on her cheeks.

Finley smiled and waved.

“Stop that,” Griffin commanded under his breath as they reached the door, but there was no anger in his words, only a sparkle in his gray-blue eyes. [Location 3666]

 

Exactly.  Nobody's about to pay for both Gary Stu and Mary Sue's faux pas.  Lydia will continue to be a wicked hag who nobody likes because Gary wants to fuck Mary.

 

Griffin and Finley laughed. “The two of you are the most bloodthirsty wenches I’ve ever met.”

“Do you like it?” Finley asked,

[...]

“I love it,” he said. [Location 3674]

 

I'm gonna love bailing you out of prison for the rest of our lives, especially since you never listen to a thing I say!